Holding on during dry, barren spiritual times
Job 2: On another day the angels came to present themselves before the Lord, and Satan also came with them to present himself before him. And the Lord said to Satan, “Where have you come from?” Satan answered the Lord, “From roaming through the earth and going back and forth in it.”
Then the Lord said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil. And he still maintains his integrity, though you incited me against him to ruin him without any reason.”
“Skin for skin!” Satan replied. “A man will give all he has for his own life. But stretch out your hand and strike his flesh and bones, and he will surely curse you to your face.”
The Lord said to Satan, “Very well, then, he is in your hands; but you must spare his life.”
So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the top of his head. Then Job took a piece of broken pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes.
His wife said to him, “Are you still holding on to your integrity? Curse God and die!”
In all this, Job did not sin in what he said. He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”
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During the past week, I have been reading a book about Mother Teresa, the nun who ministered to the needs of thousands of sick and dying poor people in Calcutta, India. She died in 1997 after many decades of selfless and sacrificial service to the Lord.
The name of this book is “Come Be My Light.” This is a book about an extraordinary woman who did extraordinary things for those who Jesus called “the least of these, my bretheren.” But it is not a book that makes Teresa out to be super-human or super-spiritual. The author uses Teresa’s own letters to tell the reader of Teresa’s frequent struggles with feeling distant from God and the weight of spiritual dryness and desolation on her soul.
Teresa often asked other Christians she respected why she would experience such times of spiritual and emotional darkness and dryness. She always believed that there was a purpose for it; a purpose that she might not truly understand until the day she stood before her Lord face-to-face.
I think I know part of the answer to her question and it is found in the pages of this book. When I read Teresa’s letters, I identify with her struggles and I feel better about my own times of spiritual weakness and inadequacy. We live in a fallen world filled with sin and I believe that most Christians struggle with spiritual darkness and dryness more than they would ever want to admit to another human being. But the Lord knows. We can’t fool him. Teresa never tried to. In fact, in one “letter to Jesus” that she wrote she tells the Lord that she is beginning to have fears that God might not even exist. When I know that a remarkable Christian woman who laid down her life for God’s work struggled with spiritual darkness - then I know that I am not the weakest and most flawed Christian in the world. Teresa’s humbly honest and revealing writings help the rest of us to feel that there is hope for us to overcome our own “dark nights of the soul.”
Other than being comforted to know we are not alone in our struggles, how do we deal with these times when doubt and fear and dryness creep into our spiritual lives? I think the answer to this is probably different for each person. I try to follow the example of Job (in Scripture above) as much as I can. I know that God is still good and God still loves me, even though I may not feel it at the time. I also know that in a fallen world, everyone has struggles. Jesus said, “In this world you will have tribulation.” I’m well into my second half-century of living and I seem to keep running into more “tribulation” the older I become.
For me, there are just many times that the best thing I can do is to hold on to Jesus even if I don’t feel Him holding on to me. But He’s still there - he always is - because He promised us He would be.
Jesus doesn’t condemn us. He, Himself experienced many times of feeling distant from His Father, especially during the last few days of His life on Earth.
Mother Teresa has done a wonderful thing in leaving behind a testimony which shows us that God can and will continue to use us (in sometimes amazing ways) - even during those times when we are struggling in our faith.
Today’s prayer
Lord, I am a sinner, saved by your grace and mercy. Because I am human, I am imperfect and sometimes weak and flawed. But I know that you used Moses, a man who told the Lord that he was too weak and flawed to be of any use to God, to fulfill a monumental purpose on this Earth. Let us feel your wonderful Holy Presence today, Lord. We want to be close to you each and every day. But when you seem distant from us, help us to hold onto your promises and to remember that you said you will “never leave nor forsake” us. In our prayer life, help us to withhold nothing from you, include our dark struggles and doubts and fears. Thank you for loving me. Praise your wonderful Name. In Jesus’ Holy Name, amen.